Today, you are Sharon, and I need you to calm down. Do you feel like you should? Yes? I thought so.

Hi, reader. What’s good? I hope you have been alright. I’ve mostly been well, and I thank our good God.

Now, last week, I did not blog even once, and yesterday, briefly, I beat myself up about it because ‘Njoki, look at you being inconsistent. You said you’d be blogging daily. See, you’re breaking your own promises to yourself. Are you even serious about your goals and all the plans you have for your blog? Get your act together.’ I sat in that for a short while and then remembered something I learnt a while back, about speaking to yourself, or thinking about yourself, in the second or third person perspective, especially when tempted, or already are, to talk to yourself harshly – negative self talk.

Granted, self- accountability is important – it is healthy and productive to check in with yourself on your goals, but it’s not okay to put yourself in a bad mood by talking to yourself as though you’re your own enemy, or your own mean primary school teacher. I know you are a decent person, so how would you talk to your friend if they failed to achieve something? (2nd person). How would you talk to your friend about your other friend who didn’t do what they had said they’d do? (3rd person).

I know, for sure, that I wouldn’t tell my friend, ‘Peggy, look at you being inconsistent. You said you’d be blogging daily. See, you’re breaking your own promises to yourself. Are you even serious about your goals and all the plans you have for your blog? Get your act together. Stop making excuses…’, but I can talk to myself like that? Neither would I tell my friend Kimetto, ‘Kimetto, look at Peggy being inconsistent. She said she’d be blogging daily. See, she’s breaking her own promises to yourself. Is she even serious about her goals and all the plans she said she has for her blog? She needs to get her act together…’

We are kind to other people, but sometimes, we’re very unkind to ourselves. Today is the last day of March, meaning that the first quarter of the year is done. You probably set goals at the start of the year:

1. Work out four times every week.
2. Avoid Quickmart hotdogs.
3. Drink 3 litres of water daily.
4. Get at least 7 hours of sleep every night…

Perhaps your reality is:

1. Worked out in January only.
2. Been eating Quickmart hotdogs three times every week.
3. Last drank water 3 days ago cos it’s been raining and cold, and I only drink water when it’s hot.
4. I sleep at 2 am. scrolling mindlessly on Instagram and wake up at 5 am. to prepare for work – I’m grossly sleep-deprived (seriously, though, you need to take your sleep seriously, if this is you, lol. This is me telling you gentlyyyyy, in 2nd person)

Can you do better in Q2 and the rest of the year? Absolutely. It’s okay that you’ve not achieved everything you had set out to achieve – let us respect the limits of our humanity. To be human is to not get it ‘right’ all the time. I mean, even God, your Creator, extends grace to you, His creation. He’s superior. Why would YOU, the creation, be that hard on yourself for ‘failing’? Let’s rethink that.

So, yesterday, after sitting briefly in negative self talk, I leaned in to the 2nd person and said, ‘Njoki, you are serious about your goals and the plans you have for the blog. It’s okay that you’ve not blogged for a minute – you’ve been feeling unmotivated, you were in the throes of a break-up, and you also had an assignment that required more of your time. Plus, you have been consistent. It’s okay that you didn’t have the inspiration to write, and you don’t even have to do it today. WordPress will be ready when you are. Your readers will be ready when you are. Take it easy, okay?’ That’s how I’d have talked to my friend, and I am my own friend. I should be. Are you?

Have you been hard on yourself about anything – some goals or some habits you want to cultivate or break? Talk to yourself in 2nd or 3rd person today. You wouldn’t be mean to your friends, so do not be unnecessarily mean to yourself, either.

I’m getting my mojo back so I’ll be writing a lot more – I’m excited for Q2.

Thank you very much for being here, reader. I hope you missed me cos sure as hell, I had missed writing.

Talk soon.

Yours, with gentleness,

Njoks.