Aloha! (This is me practicing my knowledge on the Hawaiian language cos that’s my next holiday destination. Amen!) Aloha is “Damn January!”
So hello!? Are you alright, in this year called January? Or Njaanuary as most of y’all like to call it? Let’s stick with January for the sake of our readers from America, Timbuktu, Ouagadougou, Kiribati and South Africa who don’t know what ‘njaa’ is, you know!
Most people have this attitude about this month- it for some reason feels longer than it actually is. I’m told to write this in small fonts, January might see and swallow codeine. The pockets are more often than not empty, actually, they are non-existent!! All of a sudden there is a silent declaration you are a vegan and the meat you have is what you have on your bones. January is sure the enemy of the people. The enemy of progress. An abusive relationship, such strong adhesive forces at work until death….
Having some you exposing your perfect lives, I happen to snoop around. And one thing is true for a majority of you – YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR THE MONTH TO END! Talk of the devil…

I really don’t get why you’re feeling like that.(My apologies) January is when I have the most money and I feeling like I’m on top of the world. Everything is perfect on my end! That’d be me lying to you. I really have nothing much against this month. Being broke has never been much of a big deal though (I have no salary, so brokeness=lifestyle! Ha!) Also, I feel like the month should stay here with us longer because I have exams early next month and I low-key (actually high-key, like the highest key there is) feel that more time would ensure more preparation. You Feel me? No? Yes? It’s whatevs! Whatever we feel or want or need will not change time’s mind. Today is 29th January, and the next will be the 30th day of this month in this decade.
(Disclaimer: Rastaman here is as white as snow. I suffer with all you folks in this quicksand. In this slough of despond I relate and feel you. Njoki knows Bill Gates, how does Njaanuary not affect her?)

There is a woman I love, Patricia Kihoro, if you don’t follow her, you really should. She’s so real! So perfect, yet so human. Ah! I could write a 10000-word blog about her but that’s beside the point. In her most recent post, she asked, ‘Anyone else struggling through January? I’ve been feeling like I’m stuck in really thick mud or quick sand, and it’s taking so much more effort to do things that usually don’t require so much energy…’ She went on to ask people to share their experiences and boy, oh boy! People are having it rough! From finally acknowledging past trauma that is affecting them, being in abusive relationships, trouble acquiring an education, others being diagnosed with severe depression with psychotic features, anxiety attacks even while having a basic conversation about the weather, etc. Very many things are holding people back and I don’t know what your issue is (read, issues are). If you’re struggling to build momentum for this New Year, this new decade, you are not alone. One day at a time! Seek help when you need to.(call a friend, visit your grandparents, unplug for a day… Do whatever works for you!) Take care of yourself even when taking a shower feels like a task.(We know with the current weather, you are free of your sins.)
If you haven’t hit the gym yet, or if you did only on 4th and 5th January, if you drank water last on Saturday morning, if you’re still getting late to every place, if you haven’t read a single page of any book, do not be hard on yourself. Actually be hard on yourself!(though not too hard). Tell yourself it was a trial month (though there is really no such thing) and purpose to do better, because you deserve better. You better “bet,tetter” your better.
Time is a holy mystery. It does not matter what kind of time it is- Greenwich, Standard, Mountain or Pacific. We just never seem to have enough of it, and that should not stop you from doing what you ought to – you are here now! Life, in January, in July and December, is like a series of surviving quicksand; there are always things to be done. Don’t let the quicksand swallow you. You won’t love it!
Also, February is just (count your fingers lazy bones!!There is no way you will fail to go to the gym, fail to go for the morning jogs and I still count days to your date! Huh!) Februar-yay!

If there’s nothing you love about January, I thought you’d love this:
Leap years exempted, January. In leap years, January always begins on the same day as April and July! How cool is that?
Enjoy every day of your life, and spread love and light in the spaces you find yourself in. Be well!

Hey! How are you? I know! It has been a minute, and I know you probably had forgotten that your girl Njoki still writes. Heck, I was tempted to forget too at some point, but I’d be lying if I said I did. I have been stressing about why I cannot be consistent with my blogging, until stressing was the only thing I could do- instead of taking my PC, expressing my thoughts and sharing it with you guys, but guess what? Here I am now! The last time you heard from me was around 9 months ago, and in case you’re wondering why I decided to take this up again, here’s the thing. It is normal for most of us to be quite introspective as the year draws to a close- how am I doing? Am I taking care of myself? Am I loving my people as I should? Am I working on my weaknesses and insecurities? Have I achieved even a half of my year’s resolutions that I so thoughtfully set at the beginning of the year? You know what the answer to the last question is? Best believe it’s a HELL NO! Sad, right?

I was to work out for 30 minutes every day, and I did for 4 days in a row sometime in January, and then later, almost only twice every month, after pushing myself, ‘Seriously Njoki, you have been eating a lot of mandazi and chapatti lately. Move your body a little, cos the only walk you take is to the hotel, to get chapatti, and mandazi…’ (I don’t know why my auto-correct is suggesting chapatti* instead of chapatti; makes it look like a cool Italian meal, aye, so chapatti!). I couldn’t stand the pain on my limbs after doing the donkey kicks, planks and squats, so I quit working out, and I managed to convince myself that it is never that serious anyway. I wrote a few articles at the beginning of the year, then later got so many excuses to not write. ‘I will write after finishing the Ascent program I am part of (story for another day) because it requires a lot of my time and effort.’ Then exams came and I said I’d write once I’m done. Holiday came and I thought the industrial attachment was too much for a girl- and here we are! Excuses for the last 9 months. How many newborns have been brought to the world since? I could go on and on, telling you how I have failed myself, but I will not, lest you judge me, and I cry at the realization of how much time I have wasted.

I don’t know about you. Are you satisfied with what you have been able to achieve for yourself? Yes? I respect you for that, I do! No? You are not alone.

I may not have done most of the things I wanted to, but I am very glad I got to read the book ‘Girl, Stop Apologizing’ by Rachel Hollis, and I would tell the whole world that it is the best book for anyone trying to set and achieve goals. I doubt any Homo sapien sapien belonging in the male species would want to read the book, and I understand, because, the title! Thou shouldst worry not, Everyday 24:7. I wrote brief notes for you. You are welcome!

Excuses To Let Go Of

• I am not a goal-oriented person; be a goal-digger.
• I don’t have time; don’t scroll through your Instagram feed for 3 hours a day. Reconfigure the time you have, plan a weekly schedule, dedicate at least an hour a day for working towards your dream, and treat the time as sacred. When something is sacred, you protect it!
• I am not enough to succeed; the feeling of not being good enough will prevent you from proving to yourself that you are actually really good.
• I am terrified of failure; be afraid of never achieving anything.
• It’s been done before; YOU have never done it before.
• What will they think; it does not matter. Just do it!

 

Behaviors To Adopt

• Stop asking permission; be really you.
• Choose one dream and go all in; focus on dream at a time, to be really exceptional at it.
• Embrace your ambition; ambition is not a dirty word.
• Ask for help; you will need it.
• Build foundations for success; eat well and hydrate, practice gratitude daily, wake up early (this is the catch).
• Stop allowing them to talk you out of it- you know what achieving your dreams would mean to you.
• Learn to say no; if it isn’t a hell yes, then it’s a no!

 

Skills To Acquire

• Planning; have a starting point, mile-markers to act as guide-posts and a finish line. What would you really want to accomplish?
• Confidence; how you look, how you act, who you hang out with. It all generally affects how you feel about yourself. Agree?
• Persistence; it doesn’t matter how long it takes, provided you’re doing your best.
• Effectiveness; actually do the work. Replace your to-do-list with a results list, create your own productive environment, know what distracts you and avoid that thing and do a personal efficiency audit to figure out where you need to tighten up and shift your focus.
• Positivity; believe in your capable self!

Those nuggets, in that big nutshell, should be weapons in your arsenal. The reason why we start and stop is because our ‘why’ is not strong enough. Why do you want to lose weight? Why do you want to start drinking 2 liters of water a day? Why do you want to hit the gym? Why do you want better grades? Why do you want to pursue a better relationship with your parents? With your boyfriend? A strong ‘why’ will keep you in check, and it will be the reason quitting will never be an option even when pursuing your dreams seems hard. I will write one article every week because it gives me some sense of satisfaction. It is gratifying to express myself in writing. I will work out and eat healthier because I love my body, and I need to give it love so it can keep loving me back. Also, who knows? We might do enough planks and have a body like J-Lo’s. The possibilities are endless!

I am excited for 2020, and before your pastor tells you this, let me do it. ‘2020 is your year! Say these words after me- 2020 is my year, and no! Not because I will pray the year away and wait for miracles, but because I am going to work, I will be practical, positive and productive and efficient, and I will set realistic goals for myself and reward myself when I should. Amen!’

My friend likes to say, ‘Go big or go home,’ and I am not going home. You too have been home long enough. So go big, or go big! I wish you well, and please spread your love and light in whatever spaces you find yourself in.

Sincerely from my heart to yours. Be well!

This was supposed to be a surprise, but let me spoil it for you. This is the last article I’m writing solo. I now have a writing buddy, who’ll double up as my accountability partner, and I’m here for that. Watch out for poetry, educative lessons and stories, book reviews and everything else awesome. Shall we?

Hi! Are you well? I am, thank you!

Did I tell you I went for pedicure and full manicure sometime this week?! I mean, how cool is that? I think it’s the coolest thing. Aye! Don’t burst my bubble please. It is something I have always wanted to do, but I keep thinking to myself, ‘Just get a manicure set Njoki and do these things without having to pay anyone!’ On this day, I got over my poverty attitude and got contacts from my beloved Marion, and went to the nail parlor, without thinking too much about it. It was a struggle; a battle in my heart, between my finances and my need to pamper myself. Nothing can compare to the joy I felt afterwards, plus I met the kindest person alive!

Talk about small wins!!

The concept of small wins was first coined by an American organizational theorist, Karl Edward Weick. A small win is a concrete, complete, implemented outcome of moderate importance. By itself, one small win may seem unimportant. According to him, once a small win has been accomplished, forces are set in motion for favor of another small win. When a solution is put in place, the next solvable problem often becomes more visible. Read the Italicized words again. The psychology of small wins is discussed with respect to cognitive limitations, stress and enactment of environments. The strategy of small wins incorporates sound psychology and pragmatic (dealing with things sensibly and realistically, based on practical rather than theoretical considerations) policy making. Enough said, I know!

I am writing this article on the night before graduation ceremony in our school; a big win for all graduands. There is of course no quantifier for wins. Our eyes should just be open to notice the things we do for ourselves; all our accomplishments!

I feel good when I attend all my classes in good time, for a week, without falling ill. My dad definitely feels good when he pays bills and school fees. My friend weighing 102 kilograms of awesomeness becomes ecstatic when she ditches fries and soda for two days, and snacks on fruits instead. A person suffering from epilepsy will thank the Lord when they don’t get seizures for three months. An asthmatic fellow not getting any attack in July? Small wins and big wins and everything in between.

Being an adult can be exhausting, and our problems may be many (I respect you Kenyans!). A lot is expected of us and we have goals set for ourselves. We are bound to feel overwhelmed.

Small wins can be useful in building good habits and getting rid of bad ones. Look for ways to build small wins in your life, in all ways! A person trying to become tidier makes a simple rule of folding their clothes before going to bed rather than leaving them on the floor. It take a few seconds, and probably a few more seconds to admire the neatness, then most likely, a few more minutes to clean the entire space as well, because, good vibes!

Trying to fight laziness? Write a to-do-list at night for the next day, and reward yourself for being a good, hardworking person, when you feel like you are! A reward isn’t necessarily a trip to Morocco. It could be getting your hair done, or your nails! Your nails!! Preparing your favorite meal isn’t a bad idea either. In fact, getting your friend to do it sounds better, or visiting your favorite restaurant. Get new vests and get that haircut you’ve always wanted.

It is enough that you’re living in the 21^st century. You don’t need the pressure you’ve been subjecting yourself to for too long now. Ask yourself, ‘What can I do now?’ Do not live in 2023; you might get ulcers or worse still, hypertension. Hi! It is okay to set goals. Do what you can do now, making steps towards realizing your long-term goals. We will have less stress that way, and live more healthily. I think we all want that.

Notice your small wins, get excited, establish habits which help you make small wins every day, live in the present moment and the general rule of thumb, thou shalt not forget to reward thyself.

You are amazing.

I hope you’re happy, and that you are spreading love and joy in the spaces you’re in.

Be well!

Sincerely from my heart to yours!

 

 

Hi! Let us not talk about how long it has been since I wrote to you. I will get tired explaining and you will most probably get bored. I am not ready for that. Thank you, for stopping by anyway.

I am excited about this title; the oxymoron and all the things in between.

What are little big things?

Have you ever received a compliment from a tout on a bad day, and it completely changes your mood? Or ever been held up somewhere and your friend takes the clothes you left in the cloth-line and keeps them until you’re back? Do you find yourself thinking about a mean statement someone made ten years ago and it makes you feel bad? Those are little big things.

Thirty years ago, I was still a young girl; I wanted to go home from Nairobi CBD. It was at around 6 pm, and the queues at KBS and City Shuttle stations were already as long as can be. As any normal human being, I went and stood behind the last person and of course after a few minutes, I was the fifth person on the line. Later, a middle-aged woman came from nowhere and tactfully found her way, and stood right in front of me.

“Siwezi panga hii line yote mimi. Nafaa kwenda nyumbani kupikia watoto na nimetoka kazi. Nimechoka!”, was all she could say when the guy behind me questioned her. Her way of trying to convince us!!! She could sell ice to a panda (a dead one, lol!). In my head I was thinking, ‘Okay, we all want to go home and we have all been running errands. What is wrong with you?’, but that stayed right where it had been, in my head. Girls should respect their elders.

We are social beings and we meet people every single day, every way! I think there are things we were not taught in class, but we have to learn so we can treat others properly. Everyone will appreciate it when you return a call if you missed it. No one will mind a genuine compliment, or a few encouraging words. Oh! A hug never killed anyone, neither did a smile!

I saw two kids on a motorcycle the other day along the dusty streets of Juja. They looked like siblings. The boy, who looked older, had sat behind the sister and he literally had covered her eyes (because the dust!!), with his hand as he used his other to support himself. I thought that was a cute little big thing!

You may not be able to stop global warming right now, establish a home for the aged nor entirely wipe out corruption in Kenya, but you can make a very sad person’s day. You can be kind to your mama mboga. You can choose not to talk back at your grumpy caretaker, or to that mean neighbor who listens to loud music the whole night.

‘You’re too fat Susan.’

‘Your face looks really bad these days.’

‘How can you get 20 percent in that simple test? You don’t get these things?’

‘Why are you working for such an organization? I cannot work for 200 dollars a month.’

Studies have shown that you can actually speak well, or swallow your words without getting choked.

There is always a better way of saying things, and if you can’t find a nice way, don’t say it. The way we talk and treat people needs to get better. If we would do and appreciate these little big things, the world, then, would become a safe little heaven for all of us. That, I think would be beautiful!

I hope you’re happy and that you’re spreading love and joy in the spaces you’re in.

Be well!

Sincerely from my heart to yours!

Look who’s here! It’s been a minute, and I’m sorry; been a busy past couple of days, but I’m back.

Welcome!

You know what a boat is, right?

I had a chance to go on boat rides some time back when my beloved dad would take us out to Uhuru Park (Sorry if you’re not Kenyan. It is the equivalent of Disney-world, at least during my childhood days….lol!), school trips to Paradise Lost, et cetera.

Of course, back then I did not care to know how a boat is built nor how it moves really well in water. I was a kid, and honestly, some part of me wishes I still was, you feel me? Okay! You don’t have to.

Now, thanks to Dear Old Google, I got details on how to build a boat. The article I read started off like, ‘Of course you don’t have to start from scratch as we did; there are a few other boat-building options available that could save time and maybe cash too.’

It went ahead to give options like buying an old, tired boat and refurbishing her, or buying a bare hull( main body of vessel, including the bottom, sides and deck) for home completion, or starting from scratch and  building the hull, yourself. I don’t know which you would opt for, but certainly, you need to take a deep breath before setting off along the last route.

Generally, a boat should: have high resistance to capsize, be robust and easy to maintain, have good performance under sail, have a comfortable and easy motion underway, be easily manageable by a small crew, have sufficient internal volume for comfortable living aboard, name them!

Your life is the Pacific; it goes without saying.

I promise, no one will force you to cross the Pacific. Your life, however, has to be lived! You should live. You are here, hello!

When you were born, you were right at the shores of the Pacific. Thank God for your parents, or whoever raised you, they let you cruise in their boat, then!

While aboard, your peace and well-being was their priority. They determined what clothes you would wear, what you would eat, to some extent, the people you spent your time with, the places you would be at, and stuff.

You grow up, and it is time to cruise in your own boat. No one tells you to. Time does that! You are faced with choices. Your folks suddenly have no much power to make decisions for you. What you do and who you are while in the same Pacific, lies entirely in your hands.

What boat are you cruising in?

What materials are you using? Who are the people helping you build it? Is the boat you’re currently in sinking? Is water getting in? Waves mounting high?

The Pacific, just like our lives, is full of uncertainties, but with a proper navigator, it gets easier. That is your mind! Train it and ensure it is healthy. Meditate, practice religion, hydrate yourself, be around good people, listen to podcasts, be happy and do not entertain negative vibes. You know these things!

Your body is the hull! Take care of it. It carries you.

All I’m saying is, a smooth sail is guaranteed when the mind is stable. With experience, forecasting of storms becomes more accurate. A clear sense of direction keeps you going, no matter how tough it gets. Just like getting an old ship and refurbishing it, or getting some parts of it to make another is an option, you can learn from people’s mistakes, and become a better person!

When it gets really bad, you can cruise in your friend’s ship, unless you have selfish ones. Ask for help when you need to, or better yet, get friends who will know you’re drowning without you screaming. You are lucky if you have one of those! There is no need to sink alone.

Repair your boat! You will enjoy crossing the Pacific, I promise!

I wish you a fruitful week ahead. Be well:-)

Sincerely from my heart to yours!